Power Bubbles
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
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In conversations of political, economic or military concern, the phrase “Spheres of influence” may surface. An example of such a sphere would be America’s push and pull not only on this continent, but also in Latin America, Europe and the Middle East. The US has the ability to force the actions of independent societies through war and sanctions, because America is incredibly powerful.
It’s not often mentioned when speaking to your co-workers, significant others and family. In these cases, one is more likely to say advice was taken, or that someone expressed a concern and it was considered. Why is it hard to admit that other people can, literally and indirectly, make decisions for you?
Many believe they’re in control of everything that happens in their own lives. They want to be the first, last and final say of every decision they make, from the food they eat to the clothes they wear. With the exception of the religiously devout (many of whom point to a higher power before and after making life choices), individuals are generally wary of relinquishing decision-making influence to another.
For example, it is perfectly acceptable to say “The US forced a nation to give up nuclear weapons”, but it’s less likely to say “My girlfriend made me give up drinking soda”. If you do happen to hear the latter, it’s usually spoken with vitriol rather than neutrality.
There is something inherently uncomfortable about admitting that we’re told what to do, but it happens all the time. The phrasing is simply changed around to make it seem as though it was our own decision, enabling us to hold on to our ego while still giving credit where it’s due. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing: It can allow someone to change without feeling ashamed.
But I feel we need to take responsibility for our actions, even if that means being cognizant of when we aren’t the ones in control. We shouldn’t be ashamed to say “Yeah, my mom picked out my suit” or “My boyfriend picked out the name for the baby”. And not everyone is. But since we live this life only once, we should respect those who care about us enough to admit they, too, are their own spheres of influence.
We should also be aware of how these can grow, shrink, and take on new responsibilities over the course of our lives. Your boss’s sphere of influence will either shrink or disappear when you find a new job, and some of those influences will be reabsorbed into the sphere of your new boss. A 17 year old may find their parents’s sphere shrinking as their partner’s grows.
Being attuned to who has an affect on your decision-making, and being honest about it to yourself and others, is a lesson which is often ignored in a world increasingly separated from daily human interaction. A person whose only sphere of influence is their own may find themselves growing isolated and stale. Sometimes the only way to change as a human being is allowing someone else to do it for you.
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