It's the most wonderful 6 months of the year
Friday, November 14, 2008
CHRISTMAS IS UPON US! Almost! Well not really, but I was watching television yesterday and I saw a Wal-Mart commercial where the cashiers were playing a holiday song with their lights. They looked so happy, I’ll bet it totally made up for them earning minimum wage. At first I was excited – my first Christmas commercial! – then slowly over the course of the evening resentment overpowered the euphoria. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not one of those dullards that gets depressed over the season, I just tend to think that if half of our year is holidays it kind of makes them less special. I would rather concentrate them into a few solid weeks of joy then have my big slab o’ happiness spread over a few months. At least the first half of the year has nothing to contribute, I mean seriously pick it up Spring. Easter is the best you can offer? I feel sorry for people that don’t have birthdays around then to break up the monotony. Anyway back to the topic: it’s a scam ladies and gentlemen; they’re trying to get you all worked up now so you’ll go giraffeshit and buy a dozen tickle me Snuffleupagus’ or whatever the hell them kids are into. I implore you all, don’t decorate yet. Stay indoors, if you see a caroler just keep your door closed and shake your head shamefully, maybe give ‘em the ole wag of a finger, shame on them for trying to steal your stockpile of holiday joy. If you see a quart of egg-nog at your mega mart, I’m not suggesting vandalism per say, but accidents happen; test the quality of the shelves. You know those little porcelain hallmark figurines depicting children building snow forts or hugging each other with scarves on? You’re a clumsy person; I’m sure you wouldn’t be held liable if you lost your footing and knocked a display or three over. Create some anarchy, subtle anarchy, BUT ANARCHY and take your holidays back.Comment
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