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Greg Dewar
The Commuter

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Five reasons why Zombies are natural:
1. It’s the natural progression of the species to annihilate itself one way or another. This is at least 1.5 reasons.
2. It’s a form of natural selection; the the strong don’t get eaten by their former friends and family. .5 reasons.
3. Waste not, want not; those decomposing corpses are good for something…finally! 1.5 reasons.
4. Zombies are better people than you, Mr. Casillas. 1.5 reasons.

Five reasons I love Rick:
1. Rick.
2. Rick.
3. Rick.
4. He can drink a gallon of wine in one sitting.
5. Rick.

Five reasons not to talk to creepy gas station guy:
1. He flares his eyes if you don’t know what he wants.
2. He puts crack in the coffee.
3. I’m pretty sure he bit me.
4. I’m pretty sure he bit Gary.
5. I’m pretty sure he bit himself.

Five reasons not to drive through L.A.
1. I’ll kill someone.
2. You have to pay for the bathrooms.
3. It goes foreverrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.
4. I’m pretty sure Max bit me.
5. There are no Chevron gas stations. Anywhere. Ever. Until after you spend money at another gas station.

Five reasons to go to a Journalism Convention:
1. Goth babes in bikinis.
2. An entire bottle of Dewar’s.
3. There are no scientists there.
4. ‘Eagling’ in the pool.
5. The Mexican food

Five reasons not to get on the train to Tijuana:
1. Don’t go to TJ.
2. Lydia has to pee.
3 Rick bit me.
4. Trains are fun.
5. It’s a bitch getting back on the right train.

Top five quotes:
1. I disregard the law unless it’s convenient for me.
2. Where are my pants?
3 Seriously, guys. Where the FUCK are my underwear?
4. Is this Mexico yet?
5. I did what last night…?

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