Five classes LBCC should offer
The CommuterThursday, October 1, 2009
RD211 – Lip reading for iPod listeners
With this class, students will no longer need to take out their earbuds for those pesky people who want to communicate. By hands-on learning, role-play activities and real-world experience, students will learn to fake it and make it, becoming a productive member of society with a Jay-Z soundtrack.
PE164 – The walk of shame
This self-directed class is for those people out there who would like to take advantage of all that a risky sexual lifestyle has to offer and get fit while doing it. While learning how to simultaneously build and destroy their self-esteem, they will learn that they are nothing but mere objects with no feelings. Why walk on a treadmill when you can just walk home from a frat party?
MTH114 – Bar-ithmetic
After a few weeks in this class students will learn that the amount of time they spend talking to the ugly friend is actually a function of how hot the person your friend is talking to. What about bar tabs? If you offer your friend a drink and he waits until after happy hour, how much of the cost are you now responsible for?
ENG 132.5 – Avoiding plagiarism in college papers
Plagiarism, as defined in the 1995 Random House Compact Unabridged Dictionary, is the “use or close imitation of the language and thoughts of another author and the representation of them as one’s own original work.”1 Within academia, plagiarism by students, professors, or researchers is considered academic dishonesty or academic fraud and offenders are subject to academic censure, up to and including expulsion. In journalism, plagiarism is considered a breach of journalistic ethics, and reporters caught plagiarizing typically face disciplinary measures ranging from suspension to termination. (We totally did not steal this from Wikipedia, honest!)
HPE134 – Putting down your cell phone
This self-help workshop will help students put down their obsessions and carry on with the rest of their lives. Remember when you only checked your status updates once a day? Remember when you only checked your status updates once every ten minutes? We will help you get back to this place. Besides, no one cares about all your stupid apps.
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