Postponing my dreams
The CommuterWednesday, June 3, 2009
Each one of us has a dream, something we wish we could do, or a goal we’ve set for ourselves to accomplish. But how many of us actually achieve those dreams? Life happens, and our dreams get postponed; before you know it, your dreams are so far in the past you think it’s too late to even try and achieve them.
Some of us have been told our dreams are unrealistic, but as Ravi Vora has stated, “What’s unrealistic is trying to live your life working at a job you don’t love, doing something you hate for the rest of your life, while regretting trying to live your dream.” I have experienced this myself. My dream was to volunteer for the Peace Corp, traveling and working side-by-side with those in need, but as I stated before, life happens and your plans change. I became a single mom of three children, I felt I needed more of an education to pursue my dreams, and lacked the money to get the education I felt I needed. For these reasons my dream of the Peace Corp. got placed on the back burner and life continued forward.
I will review three causes of postponing my dreams and after reviewing them I will discuss my plan on how I will accomplish the final step (college) in achieving my goal. As a former single mom I know all too well what it means to give up everything for your children. Many people have made that decision in life, and for some people there are no regrets. I personally don’t regret the decision to be a single mom my regret is that I didn’t believe in myself enough to pursue my dreams in a more local manner while raising my kids. After high school I began making plans for my future and was looking forward to many years of traveling the world. I began with school in Miami Florida, and then accepted a job at the Grand Canyon Arizona. In Arizona I became pregnant with my oldest son; housing was not available to “families,” thus beginning the first steps of giving up a dream. I moved back to Oregon and began working a series of jobs that were unfulfilling but provided an income. Over the years I got married had more kids and eventually divorced. As a single mom I felt freedom, and at the same time I felt my dreams slip a little further away. How could I travel, I had three young children? How could I go to school when the kids depended on me to support them?Was it really concern about responsibilities that was stopping me, or was it the fear of failure? Laurence J. Peters once said, “There are two kinds of failures: those who thought and never did, and those who did and never thought.” I did not want to be either one of those.
For some people it’s a lack of financial security that is holding them back from pursuing their dreams. Life can deal us a lot of unexpected financial difficulties and if your dream requires some kind of financial investment you might find yourself postponing your dreams, thinking to yourself I can do it later when finances are better, but later and better may not come or when it finally does you think you’re too old or what do I have to offer at my age. Working paycheck-to-paycheck all my adult life the thought of going to school to pursue my personal goals has seemed like an impossible dream. Would it be selfish of me to take money away from my family’s already tight budget? Would taking out loans to go to college be a smart financial move?
People have been told for years that higher education can open doors to their future, and that if a person wants to reach their full potential they need to go to college. Does that mean if you don’t go to college you will never be able to realize your dreams? Does it mean only those who can afford a higher education will be able to feel the sense of accomplishment and the rewards of fulfilling their dreams?
In my opinion the answers to the above questions would be no, but to others the answers would be yes. For those people who believe it’s the only way and don’t have the money to finance school they give up their dreams based on the idea that a higher education is the only pathway to success, instead of seeking out other alternative solutions, e.g.; a volunteer program to gain experience, or a small company willing to train you on the job.
For some like me high school wasn’t easy so the idea of college, let alone as a non-traditional student, is very intimidating.
With so many people working fulltime just to make ends meet and having little time for extra activities it’s easy to see why someone may feel they don’t have the time or money for schooling. However; the satisfaction, sense of accomplishment, and possible financial gain you could experience from going to school and pursuing your dreams could make it all feel worthwhile.
Over the last five years circumstances have changed in my life and some of the issues that were holding me back from pursuing my dreams are no longer a factor, leaving me with one last hurdle; college.
How am I going to overcome this last obstacle that is between me and my dream job? I have already begun the process. First I met with a school counselor to discuss my goals and the career path I wanted to pursue, next was a meeting with the financial aid office to discuss grants, scholarships, and the loan process. Once I had met with these departments and had taken my placement tests the idea of school started to feel a lot less intimidating. To gain work experience while going to school, I have become a volunteer for the Red Cross.
Going back to school has taken some getting used to and juggling family responsibilities and homework can get rough at times, but the decision to go back to school has definitely been the right choice for me and with the support of my husband and children I will reach my dreams!
Rick Warren author of the Purpose driven life says, “Nothing shapes your life more than the commitments you choose to make. Your commitments can develop you or they can destroy you, but either way, they will define you.” What an incredible statement.
When I graduate from college, I will be graduating with not only work experience and a degree to go out and do my dream job, but with a sense of pride in my ability to overcome what I thought was a lost dream.
Think back… what was your dream? Is it still something you’d still like to do today? If so make a commitment to yourself and go after that dream!
It’s only impossible if you don’t try.
Pam Milkowski
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