One fucked up Trek to the stars
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
“I’ve never been much of a fan of Star Trek,” J.J. Abrams is quoted as saying followed by “I wasn’t really interested in doing it when I first heard of the idea.” in reference to Paramount Pictures’s new Star Trek.
Now I don’t know about you, but those aren’t the most promising words I’d like to hear from someone taking the helm of TV’s longest running Sci-Fi epic spanning 10 movies and seven TV series.
I’d also like to point out that the world hasn’t had very much luck with prequels. And dubiously labeling this one only as “Star Trek” as if it were the be-all end-all of the series seems a might questionable if you ask me. Does he really believe his movie is going to be that great? Does he really think he’s got that much right?
As an avid fan of the series (Star Trek) is essentially my life I find myself beyond worried. After watching Star Wars 1-3 in utter horror, and being less of a fan of the series, I can only imagine the outrage I will feel at 2 a.m. when the slaughter of my soul ends.
How can someone, obviously not a fan of the series, proclaim to do so well?
I have no answers.
After watching the trailers, I’m shocked. I feel like I’m looking at another member of the Superhero brigade: a fad. Why is everything I love dumbed down and filled up with porn stars and guys that are too cool for school? Would it be too much to ask for them to simply make another movie faithful to the series and longtime fans- as that is your biggest long-term audience.
Instead we pander to 14-year-olds with The Fast and the Furious-style car chases and more explosions than an Arnold Schwarzenegger movie.
Let me clue you in, “J.J.”, may I call you J.J.? It doesn’t matter. Star Trek is already cool. Just ask any 20-something hottie you’ll find on the street. Star Trek is basically panty remover.
What makes Star Trek so cool is its attention to detail, it’s faithfulness to science, and the human component that characters take on. Characters that feel real, that go through the same things you do, that battle with the same moral obligations that you do.
The Prime Directive is the single greatest plot device ever invented. There’s nothing wrong with Star Trek, it’s had a massive cult following since 1966- that’s 43 years of popularity. Why fix what ain’t broken? Granted we needed Star Trek X as a pickmeup after the dourhanded “Enterprise” bombed off the air, but straights aren’t so dire. Not as dire as three terrible prequels.
So here’s my second bit of advice to you: don’t make a terrible prequel. You know you can’t do it right, I know you can’t do it right, why even try? Isn’t there some comic book (or graphic novel) franchise you could be ruining and pimping out to the ‘Tween crowd? I mean, why don’t you make an X-men prequel, that’s already been run into the ground.
Sadly the state of movies these days is pathetic, it’s no longer about the art, not even about the entertainment, just how many kids you can convince to pay to go sit in the theatre.
Also sadly, I will be there, in my 2nd. Lt. Sciences and Medical Starfleet Uniform, Circa 2272 with Voyager-style Combadge waiting in line with pre-bought tickets. Just another pathetic slave to pop-Hollywood giving up my money to watch my beloved collapse to the ground in flames.
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